© Alan Reade, 1994 and 2020
View the Show Notes
Death of the Document
I.
Remember when people worried
That robots would take over
Every aspect of our lives?
Well, there's no need to worry now--
They're already here.
I met some working in the
Espresso shop yesterday:
"That-will-be-a-dollar-ninety-five-thenk-yew..."
Why worry about robots
When we out-robot them?
And I sit at my terminal--
Funny how that sounds so final--
And read about how they're building computers now
To be a part of us...
Literally.
Instead of a laptop,
You'd have a data appendage;
Instead of a screen,
You'd wear an information visor.
Instead of a keyboard,
You'd use your voice.
They're gaining on us.
Oh, it's true that computers
Never forget;
They're not like me--
They follow what you set.
Just press
"Save,"
And the memory stays clear and crisp
For eternity.
Long after I'm gone.
II.
But I'm incapable of being saved.
I'm unable to believe that glass-eyed devotion alone
Can open the door to immortality,
Can answer the difficult, crimson-soaked questions
Locked in all of our organs,
Beating in our blood.
I used to read the Bible every night.
I used to pray that God would set me free.
I used to pray that he'd "straighten me out."
I used to pray that he'd heal me.
All because of some book
Written long ago
That can never grow,
That can never change.
Whose pages might as well be stone.
Or data.
It is worlds more difficult to translate
Things written into the flesh
Where anger and bliss and guilt and pain reside.
On this document,
Your body,
Is written your life's story
In a language you can't begin to understand
Until the voyage is all over;
Until, at the end, your skin is a parchment of your travels;
And then your story is told
And it too changes, takes on weight,
So that your life evolves even after your body is gone.
III.
And my question to you is:
Are we abandoning paper
Because it reminds us too much of flesh?
Will whole libraries slowly become obsolete
Owing to some "electronic revolution?"
I love the feel of paper
And photographic plates;
I love the suspense between the pages,
How it makes you wait.
There are some memories I want
To fade when I do,
Tattering in the water of memory,
Not lingering forever
In some database.
Computers remember
Until you erase them--
Without pain, pleasure,
Denial, regret;
But my memory, like paper,
Frays at the edges--
There are some things
I'd rather
Forget.
Spice of Life
Dear Richard: So I guess the best way I can remember you is to let your life live on in mine. Maybe I'll forget some things, but I'll remember others. Let historians go for accuracy. You're in my heart. Oh, and one last thing: Because you were an herbalist for the last decade of your life, about a month after your death, I got a huge shipment of your...very special herbs. In some ways, it was as though your ashes had turned into tarragon, dill, thyme, herbs de provence...and that you're continuing to spice up my life. So, with that in mind, this is the song I finally wrote--or rewrote--for you:
Stayin' Alive (version)
Well, you can tell by the way I count my beats, I'm from small-town schools and city streets.
I wouldn't go back on what I already know, because I'm tied to something long ago
That is dark as night, black and sweet--
In 4/4 time I can feel it beat;
It's dense and fiery, ecstatic, sweaty--
And I won't go until I'm ready....
I'm a queer in the open on a summer day, and I'm stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
I don't give a fuck if I was born this way because I'm stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ha, ha, ha, ha! Stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ha, ha, ha, ha! Stayin' alive....
Got friends with AIDS, got friends without, and I'm stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Some are in this life and some went out, but I'm stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Don't give a damn if they like who I am because I'm stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Don't need permission from a Chris-Ti-An to be stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ha, ha, ha, ha! Stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ha, ha, ha, ha! Stayin' alive....
Got another needle at the Needle Exchange, and I'm
stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Don't have money but I'm beggin' for change, and I'm
stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
You may have nothin', you may have riches,
stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Or maybe you'll live as long as the BeeGees!
Stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ha, ha, ha, ha! Stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ha, ha, ha, ha! Stayin' alive....
Stayin' alive! I'm better than stayin' alive!
I'm better than stayin' alive! I'm better than stayin' alive!
Stayin' alive! I'm better than stayin' alive!
I'm better than stayin' alive!
I'M BETTER THAN STAYIN' ALIIIIIIVE!!!!
Ways To Dance
"This shaking keeps me steady, I should know.
What falls away is always, and is near.
I wake to sleep and keep my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go."
-Theodore Roethke, "The Waking"
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